There is jargon and hobby lingo, and then there is just plain weird talk. I've listed some of the common excesses which I think the hobby would be better off without.

1. How many of us are there in the room if I'm by myself? It is common to hear the word "WE" being used on the air in place of the "I." Perhaps the Queen can get away with quoting, "we are not amused," when she heartily disapproves of something, but I think it strange when during an on the air conversation, one party refers to himself (or herself) in the plural. "We're fifty two years old this month. We've been a ham radio operator for twenty five years. We must QRT (shut down the station/go off the air) now, as we hear lunch is ready."

2. "The personal here is Fred." Ok, Fred. It seems that 'personal' is jargon for 'name.' Wouldn't it have been just as easy to say something like, "the name here...?" Or, you might even go as far as to say, "my name is Fred." I'm not sure of the origin of that one, but I often hear it used when domestic operators are in QSO with international operators. I may hear it used by either side. I wonder if it could have originated with operators in non-English speaking countries? Perhaps it could have been a language bridging device. Any ideas?

3. This one is generally always heard from foreign stations. It will often be heard from those domestic operators in radio contact with those foreign stations. That is: "The working conditions here are...." and he proceeds to list the catalog of his radio equipment. He'll name the radio, the antenna and what other pieces of ham radio related equipment he feels he'd like to inform the receiving operator of. It seems to me, that it would be simpler to say something like, "my radio is a <whatever brand and model> and my antenna is <whatever brand and model>." Where did this one originate? I have no idea. Since it is fairly unique in usage to foreign (non-English speaking country) operators, it may have the same root as Number 2.

By the way, to their great credit, a very high percentage of operators in non-English speaking countries DO speak and use English on the air. Some are openly apologetic of their self proclaimed lack of skill at the language when in fact, they are doing very well at it and do put us North American operators to shame because of our general limitation to our own language. These operators are very much deserving of the praise they often receive from English only operators.

4. The sound of laughter. On non-voice modes it's not possible to tell if an operator is laughing or not. That being the response to a humorous statement. How do you hear laughter in CW? The letters "HI" signify a laughing response. They do not mean "hello." So, if an operator is making a statement intended to be humorous, just as in audible speaking, he or she may emphasize that statement with a laugh. As that laugh can not be heard over the non-voice modes, the operator will tag on "HI" or perhaps even if it's really funny, "HI HI." Why "HI" as opposed to "HA" as in "HA HA HA?" I suspect that it relates more to the sound of the letter combination when sent over CW. It may have another historic reason I'm not aware of. Though it makes sense to use this symbol on the non-voice modes, I'll often hear operators talking - yes, using microphones and you can hear their voice - tagging a "HI" into their conversations to indicate a humorous response. I have on occasion heard the letters sounded out such as "H" and "I." This seems totally silly. Wouldn't it make more sense and not seem so stilted to simply laugh - yes, a real belly buster if needed - in real voice communications? I don't think two hams talking face to face over a cup of coffee would use that shortcut in their conversation. Why then use it on the radio?

5. "Seventy Threes" or a variation, "Seventy Thirds." This is more of a grammatical error than jargon use. The old term "Seventy Three" or "73" in its numerical form, means "best wishes." It is already plural.  By pluraling it further, as in saying "seventy threes to you", one is in effect saying something like "bestest wishes's." Can I get away with that grammatical foul? My spell checker doesn't like it. Interestingly, I even see it in email signatures - signed as "73s" or sometimes "73's".  The correct term is simply "73". Thankfully, no one would ever think of adding the extra "S" to the CW string.

6. Repeaters. No, these aren't the electronic kind; those devices which by repeating your RF signal extend the range of your tiny hand-held radio. These are the guys who repeat back to you everything you said in your last transmission. The conversation goes something like this:

You: "Thanks for answering my CQ, Nice to meet you. My name is Dan. QTH is Bedford, Texas, near Dallas. The rig here is a Kenwood TS-2000 (hey, I do need to make it realistic) and the antenna is a Butternut HF9V vertical. It's a beautiful day here. The temperature is about seventy degrees. My age is, (never mind) and I work in the electronics field........ "

The Repeater: "Ok, Dan." Ok on your QTH in Bedford, Texas, near Dallas. Ok on your Kenwood TS-2000 and your Butternut vertical. And ok on your temperature being about seventy degrees. And ok on the age ( ) and working in the electronics field...... "

One thing can be said about the whole exchange. Before it's over, you will know all about yourself. The repeater will see to that.

That's all for now, folks. More will be added as I (or should we say, "we"?) come up with them.